Two months ago, some people I had hired to help me with my social media gained access to all my passwords and started hacking into all my accounts. What a wild ride it was, particularly in the beginning, before I found some people who knew how to help me fend off hackers. I worked as quickly as I could for days on end, trying to change passwords before they got into various accounts. They dismantled my new website, redirected my PayPal account to theirs, etc. etc. I kept changing my passwords, only to find the next day that they had changed them to something else. I worked my way through this, learning to successfully hide my passwords, put 2 step verification on everything I needed to, and changing my passwords to really complicated ones. When I noticed I was tense, I remembered where the tension was really coming from (thought in the moment about the hackers, though it sure looked like it was coming from them!).
Initially, what bothered me most about it, besides the feeling of violation, all the extra work it created for me and the money I had to spend getting it straightened out, was having to create new, really complicated passwords that I wouldn’t be able to remember. What an inconvenience going forward! But as I got inside out about that – again, remembering where my feelings were really coming from – my head kept clearing, and eventually I began having new thoughts about it. To my surprise, I started enjoying the challenge of creating complicated passwords with weird symbols in ways that I would be able to remember, at least some of the time. And the thought kept occurring to me that this was a great, ongoing exercise to keep my memory sharp. As I got inside out about the hackers, the stress disappeared, and in its place, came good ideas and even gratitude. It was a forced short course in the internet and technology, things I am always needing to get better at; none of my financial accounts were compromised; I now have passwords which give me the opportunity to feel delighted when I can remember them, and on top of that I found much better people to help me with social media and my website! This is what resilience is all about – getting through challenges with minimal wear and tear, and not only learning from them, but truly benefiting from the experience.
As we enter the time of increasing darkness, I think of the value of quiet. Since being introduced to the Three Principles, I have found on a number of occasions, when something unexpected happened that was overwhelming or (temporarily) frightening, a voice in my head saying loudly and clearly, ‘Time to get quiet.’
When the mind starts to rush and thoughts fly everywhere, your wisdom will often step in to remind you that there’s an eye in the center of that storm. When you look there, the noise of too much thinking will usually settle down. This returns you to a sense of faith and connection to a wisdom beyond what your mind can find through its frenetic searching. There, right in the center of us, is the answer we seek. In that quiet it reveals itself.
May you find your own wisdom in the months that lie ahead.
I’ve been coaching two sisters who have started their own business, helping the elderly stay in their homes. When we started, they described their lives as hectic and stressed. After learning about the Single Paradigm, they began to see big changes in themselves and in their business. “We were working seven days a week, sometimes 12 hour days. We were hiring caregivers and doing some of the home-care ourselves. We were in a state of constant stress. We over-analyzed and worried about every decision we had to make. We were on automatic pilot, and it felt like we were headed for a crash.
“When we learned about the Single Paradigm so much unnecessary thinking fell away. It was almost spooky at first to experience that mental quiet. But then so many benefits followed. We no longer over think things. When we had to fire a caregiver recently, we were able to do so easily and with grace, instead of agonizing over it as we would have in the past. And we were able to talk with her in a way that seemed to bring out the best in her – she owned up to what she’d done and we parted on good terms.
“Our business is growing so quickly now our main challenge is keeping up with all the growth. We’re starting to meet our financial goals. And the best part is, we’re having fun doing it!”
When unnecessary thinking gets subtracted from your day-to-day, moment-by moment experience of life, it frees your mind to work as nature intended – with mental clarity, and the capacity to respond well to work and life challenges. It’s all so much easier when you have a clear mind.
In my last newsletter, my blog was called “When you Say It’s Just My Thinking, What Are You Thinking?” One of the main points of that blog is that, when people say that, they’re often using their personal thinking to think about their personal thinking – a bit like a dog chasing its tail. This is quite different than aligning yourself with the principle of thought.
I was talking with a client yesterday who runs an antique business. She was recovering from a visit with a relative that didn’t go well. “I know it’s just my thinking,“ she said – there it was again. When I pointed out that she was thinking about this from a personal perspective, when, in fact, principles are impersonal by nature, there was a sigh of relief. “You’re right,” she said. “I’m taking this much too personally.”
The Principle of Thought brings you thoughts and feelings, and clears your thoughts and feelings, landing you back in the present for a millisecond before the next thought arrives. When your mind is functioning in this optimal way, you experience, calm, well being and mental clarity. When you forget that your mind is run by a system larger than you, you often fill it up with so much unnecessary thinking that it clogs the system. Then you experience insecurity, mental stress and confusion. These feelings are your signals that you’ve lost track of how your mind actually works, and gotten caught up in the outside in illusion that things, events and circumstances are causing the feelings you’re having. They are what allow you to re-align your perception with how it actually does work – that your mind is run by a system larger than you. Then you get all the benefits that this brilliant design of your mind provides.
Almost everywhere you look, people are running from their feelings. Whether it’s shopping, eating, drinking too much or, in some cases, exercise – people go to great lengths to avoid the feelings they’re afraid of.
I’ve even seen people try to use the ‘good feeling’ they get from listening to Sydney Banks, or 3P Practitioners, as a way to get away from their uncomfortable feelings.
This came up recently with a client who was going home for the holidays. There’s often a lot of tension and fighting at these events, so before she went she booked a session with me and asked me to ‘fill her up with good feeling.’
I explained that looking to get filled with good feeling under those circumstances would be like blowing air into a leaky balloon. As soon as that good feeling wears off, and your consciousness lands on the thoughts you’re afraid of, you’ll have the feelings you’re afraid of – maybe even a little worse, because avoiding feelings, and the thoughts that cause them, can be like adding fuel to the fire.
When you realize just one thing – that your feelings are coming from your thinking in the moment – even the scariest thoughts/feelings lose their power over you. You know instinctively that the quality of your thinking is changing all the time. So while you may be having an upsetting thought in the moment, it’s going to change. Realizing that that truly is all you’re ever up against gives you courage, and makes you more resilient. Those thoughts that have been bothering you will dissipate, and guess what shows up in their place? All those good feelings you were chasing after in the first place!